Radio Interview on Family Realities

I was asked to do an interview on Family Realities, a radio program out of Emory and Henry College. The focus was on Queer ways of doing love.

Here it is. Enjoy.

Sexual Love Without Gender -- Radio Interview

Queer the Census

We must stand up and be counted!

The census tells the story of who we are as a nation, and that includes LGBT people — but only when we participate, and only when we're fully counted. Thanks to the collection of unmarried partner data, a more complete picture of who we are has emerged. For example, we know that:

• Same-sex couples live in 99% of all US Counties.
• LGBT parents live in 97% of all US Counties.
• Black and Latino same-sex couples are raising children at almost the same rates as their heterosexual peers, but on lower incomes ($10,000/yr less).

Still, there is no question on the 2010 census that asks individuals if they are lesbian, gay, bisexual or transgender — and LGBT questions are not included in almost all other major federal surveys.

It's a big problem. The census, which counts everyone living in the United States every ten years, provides the data that is used to determine funding and policy priorities at the national and state level.

Being counted isn’t just a numbers game, but a question of whether the LGBT community gets access to the resources that support our health, economic well-being, safety and families. The LGBT community must be visible--and that means participating in the census, but it also means being counted fully.

That's why the National Gay and Lesbian Task Force, together with CREDO Action, has launched Queer the Census. We must ensure that LGBT people are accurately counted in the next census — and we need your help to make it happen. Here's how:

Queer the Census!

Morning Prayer

I wake up in the morning. Before I have gotten out of bed, before I turn on the lights, or pet the dogs, I pray.

Modeh ani lifanecha melech chai vikayam, she-he-chezarta bee nishmatee b'chemla, raba emunatecha.

I offer thanks to You, living and eternal Ruler, for You have restored my soul within me; Your faithfulness is great.

It is traditional. In the Hebrew, it is masculine in language. It is filled with the gender-biases and patriarchal language that I seek to avoid in my day-to-day life.

But it is my prayer. It is a prayer of my people. It is glory and honor and joy in the return of the gift of my soul from its night wanderings. I love the language of the tradition, and I hold it dear to my heart.

Then I fast forward. I shower, dry my hair, attempt to choose clothes. I set everything out to get dressed. And I pray.

Baruch Ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha’Olam Ha’Mavir L’Ovrim

Baruch Ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha’Olam sh’asani b’tzelmo

Baruch Ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha’Olam Sh’hechianu, v’kimanu, v’higiyanu, la’zman hazeh

Blessed are You, Eternal One, our God, Ruler of Time and Space, the Transforming One to those who transform/transition/cross over.

Blessed are You, Eternal One, our God Ruler of Time and Space who has made me in God’s image.

Blessed are You, Eternal One, our God Ruler of Time and Space who has kept us alive and sustained us and helped us to arrive at this moment.

Baruch Ata Adonai Eloheinu Melech Ha’Olam B’shem mitzvat tzitzit v’mitzvat hityatzrut

Blessed are you, Eternal One, our G-d, Ruler of time and Space for the sake of the mitzvah of ritual fringes and the mitzvah of self-formation.

It is new. It is inclusive of all forms of gender. It is filled with the language and politics and belief in a G-d who is more than just one or the other that I desperately need to cling to.

It is a blessing written for those transitioning genders, for those seeking new ways of gendering, and for the wearing of a chest-binder[1]. It is new.

But it is my prayer. It is a prayer of my people. It is glory and honor and joy in the sanctity of transformation and beauty.

It is the beginning of the daily ritual of transforming the geography of my body.

I put on my binder.

It is painful. It is constrictive. It becomes harder to breathe.

It is joyful. It is honest. It becomes easier to move in the world.

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[1] These blessings were written by Rabbi Elliot Kukla and Ari Lev Fornari, 2007 and may be found at http://www.transtorah.org/

Inscription

We inscribe the narratives of our lives upon our bodies, in our clothes, our tattoos, our laugh lines, our smiles, and in the tracks of our tears. We create ourselves, layering heartbreak over politics over faith over lust until we are each a piece of collage art walking around, reading the art of others and being read in ways which we cannot control. We are born in the image of G…d and we spend out lives inscribing this image with everything we do, forming our bodies into a new and created being, and thus forming our G…d into a new and created being as well.

Why do we do this? What is this need for the marks of our lives to show – in real and physical ways? And then why do we take these marks and hide them in ways that make it impossible for other people to read them clearly and truly?

Example. I have a tattoo – poetry; written in German; tattooed on my arm where practically every day everyone can see it. I have had this tattoo for 5 years.

Practically every day someone asks me what the tattoo means.

I have never told anyone.

People ask me all the time why I chose to tattoo it where everyone could see it. People ask why it is in such a public place, and yet such an intimate, unshared tattoo.

I don’t know that I have the answers to there questions, but I do know that we all do it. We armor ourselves in our clothes, our jewelry, our smiles, our growls. We build a shell of tattoos, binders, ties, dresses.

We do this to bodies born in the image of G…d. We do this to the image of G…d as it is reflected in each of us.

I believe in a loving G…d, in whose image I was born. I believe in a G…d whose image is so broad, so magnificent, so all encompassing that it contains everything I could possibly do to my image. I also believe in a G…d who constantly changes and evolves as we change and evolve. What does this mean for the image of G…d, as I tattoo new and unimagined things? What does this mean as we inscribe ourselves and simultaneously inscribe G…d?